ur_lord_chaos's profile

ur_lord_chaos avatar
AGE: 34
LOC: Portland, OR
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 18

I am 34, Male and happily married with no brats to call our own.

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Items
Poetry / Cracked
Version 1
4 Reviews   2 Comments
I’m the only one who can see, There’s a crack in reality, That really doesn’t seem to be, This unknown curiosity, Increasing in intensity, Rips me away from being free, What the hell does it want from me, Except to instill anarchy, It really doesn’t seem scary, But that could be a trickery, So I look inside instantly, And something I did not foresee, This object of simplicity, Could turn out to be so deadly, Now I know most assuredly, Paradox reacts constantly, For fate treated me wickedly, A...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
13 Reviews   5 Comments
Now drag me down, Take me under, Fast as lightning, Quick as thunder, I’m ripped apart, Torn asunder. This thing inside, Beckons to me, It calls my name, This cannot be, But that desire, Is insanity. I’m going mad, Thoughts everywhere, They’ve run amuck, It’s just not fair, No matter what, They’re still there. No escaping, I’m trapped indeed, Within myself, These voices plead, Droning on till, They can be freed. So who am I, I still don’t know, Will I ever, Time just might show, Who am I now,...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Poetry / Run
I liked that it flows smoothly till the last part where it stops running and makes a leap to life after the finish line. And maybe instead of saying all is hushed, all thoughts hushed might make a better allusion to concentration instead everything being quiet. Thank you for sharing!
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Good work! I was kind of thrown off when I first read the "free will" part then realized that if I looked at it in lines of 3, the meanings became more clearer to me. Then taking that into account I came to the end of the world it seemed. Seems to me that when you get to the "sick of" part everything kinda gets thrown out of kilter and makes me want to look at it as more of a song and I just finally got to read the chorus. The last part was kind of good but it didn't quite fit with the rest o...
Poetry / Sundays
Honestly I don't know if it is my computer or this is actually written like this on purpose, but it seems to me to be a little too chaotic for the minds eye to catch on. You have started a kind of cadence when it came to the "thier own days" theme but then you scattered it when it came to splitting sentences with some of the spacing. Otherwise it looks good, a little editing would make it look emmaculate. Thanks for sharing your art with us lackeys! James
Thank you for sharing your work of art! Without punctuation however remedial it may be... some times it can be essential when it comes to getting a meaning across like for instance this line: "not now not ever".... using line breaks as punctuation didn't exactly work here and maybe if you added either the word "or" or "and" in the middle of this you can still avoid punctuation with an added emphasis. "to touch wash my shores" ..Way out there compared to the rest of the poem. Wasn't able to tr...
This is nice and can go a long way. But overall it is somewhat fragmented with wild thoughts, such as: Fear me not I am innocent at hand, whereas this part just doesn't quite fit in with anger to me. Thanks for sharing!
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