This is a well developed song, but there are a couple things I'm not feeling. Pros: It is put together well and I can feel that some emotion was put into it. Great structure and story of the song Cons: I felt that if this song did make it to the radio or CD no one would get into it simply because it is to poetic in the sense it says "like the waters of a river my love for you will never cease to flow" I think this would be great in a poem sense, but for a song to be signed and played I feel t...

I like the feel to this. It seems heart felt and seems like this is how you really felt at the time. The length is good and the concept and structure as well. The only problem I have with the lyrics are they seem to run into the corny area. I know that may be how you feel, but I feel like it would be good in a poetry setting not a lyrical song. Theres just a couple parts that seem to be forced in as if you were trying to find something else to create a metaphor with. I just dont feel it would...

Like Borat would say, very nice. I really liked this song. It really spoke to me and explains a very deep feeling that not many people experience thankfully. The whole idea that loving someone actually can hurt more than if you have never meet them. Its a well known case when you fall in love so deeply, but for whatever reason you just can't be with that person whether they want to be with you or not. So I really understood this song and liked how it showed some imagery of what its like to fe...

Augh. Ok first things first. It must rhyme more if you want these to be considered lyrics. Lyrics are for songs and this is more of a poem. Not all lyrics have to completely rhyme, but they somewhat have to in order to keep structure which feels pleasing to the ears and that makes a good song. So kind of make the lines rhyme more with a certain A B A B or A B B style for starters. Also the song is all over the place with the scenario. I think you should focus on whats going on with your feeli...

Perfect man. This is beautiful. One of the greatest lyrics I have ever seen in my life. I really think you should go and get these lyrics copyrighted. I am curious how it sounds with some music. If I were to put this to anything It would have an Incubus feel. You have to treat these lyrics gently and make sure everyone can hear the words. They shouldnt go to that heavy rock screaming crap. These words need to be heard and need to have really good, but dark accompaniment. Some violins or some ...