nice adjactives. unglueing. too many ...s um...what. i would work on the story a bit. build more of a climax so when she climbs the tree it really feels.

he did not need kissing lessons---are you trying to be funny? you have a bit of a tone problem. be more descriptive. what were their mouths like: wet, moist, etc... you repeat words a lot. like he.

could you add some more punctuation. this: Fade as it dissipates---doesnt work also i think when you talking about the fading, describe it. Dont just say it. and also just some it doesn't make sense. the middle in particular.

what? that is funny, but mean. Also, should do a comma after deep.

clever, but I tottally don't get it.

you start the beg. with so many "I", unless that is the purpuse, fix it. also, the first and the second paragraphs have no transition. Actually, almost none of them do. Maybe you meant to make it stream of conscuiosness, i dont know, but i would recomend fixing it. this reads like you are trying to be Kerous or Hunter S. Thompson. you write well, but you need better ideas.

the animal? light? i dont know. i never read the bible

Pushing out my cigarette in a brown stoneware ashtray in the middle of the coffee table. change the first in to on. it will sound better. i loved it. your attention to detail at the begining really draws the reader in. also your dailogue is fantastic. good job. keep on keeping on. work on it and you will only improve it. i want to see it get better.