This piece is the first one I encountered at this site that I could actually set to music. In my head, the song played out almost Hary Chapin. Harry was famous for "Cat's in the Cradle". He wrote a lot of life stories set to song. Some humorous, some serious. For sixteen years of age, you show a lot of promise. The criterea (excuse the spelin) I use for evaluating a song lyric is: "can I hear it?" The second: "Does it interest me?" You scored in both catagories.

The music came to me with the first stanza. The chorus fell in naturally. This song entered my head as a Judas Priest like metal ballad. At your age, that's probably not what you intended, but I'm a fogie, so cut me some slack. The point is, Your verse summons music. That's something that any and all lyticists should aspire to. At the age of 14, you show promise.

I never heard the song that inspired your writing, but on its own merit, your song rocks. I'm feeling kinda FASTWAY. FASTWAY is a late entry big hair band that died after three albums (talkin' vinyl here,) formed by ex MOTOTHEAD fast Eddy Clark. The first two FASTWAY albums showed promise, the the band changed direction. Shame. Your song summons up what was cool and good about FASTWAY.

I like tis one. It's kind of McCartney-ish. Simple, whimsical, yet somewhat heavy. "She sits in the wind of the frost biting pews and prays..." great symbolism.

This is a better than average "get lost" song. I never heard the term "killee" before, but I so love poetic license. I like the chorus',and the ending, both seem to carry a melody, even without music. If I have any beef at all with the song, it would be the "sad-mad" rhyme. This, in my humble opinion, is the only weak part of what is otherwise a strong song. But what the hell, I am guilty of the "mire-fire" rhyme that Morrison made famous. I used it in a song entitled "Hey Axoltl." I believe ...

I'm not usually a fan of "positive-upbeat" songs, but after wading through the den (din?) of self pity that's plaguing most of the youth around this site, it's nice to read something maturely written and life affirming. Though, as a lyticist, I'm apologetic to say, I'm not that life-affirming type of writer. This song reminds me somewhat of Jon Anderson's later stuff he wrote for YES. You kept the metaphor of musician/composer and song unbroken throughout the piece. That's a sign of an advanc...

Harsh, really harsh! A portrait of a damaged soul crying out to her(?) tormentor to finish it! As if the tormentor had any compassion, otherwise it would be finished. The type of mentality that would commit such damage, would argue his(?) case by saying: "See, she wants it." This is advanced for 14. Dark as it wants to be. I say advanced, because at 14, I don't believe I ever got this deep into any subject. So to me, this is advanced. I do hope that this song isn't coming from experience.

I lay a 10 on you for the simple reason that the piece is readable. It kept my attention, and kept me going. Even the science parts huh, huh, huh. On the point of view, though, I might argue some points, but that's a given. Opinions are like dirty socks found in a hurry: Everybody's got more than one, most stink, and sometimes they don't match. The fact that I have a different opinion on the overall subject, and still read the essay to its completion, is a testament to your writing skills. Af...

It looks like some research went into this Western. The piece appears to be a Vallentine to the black and white TV Westerns of old. Kind of Bat Masterson/Yancy Darrenger/Have Gun Will Travel. The research shows with the main man's choice of weapon: a Shofield 45(say Smith and Wesson, baby.) I take it Sean served time in the service of his country,(with the surname of O'Roarke it would have to be the North) or perhaps got this top loading beauty in a card game. I think a TV series about a West...

This poem displays certain advanced qualities, such as: rhythm, internal rhyme, an euphonious voice (though the alliteration used in the expression: "to pluck from the plethora of expression seems kinda choppy, but then I believe this to be the poet's intent,)and imagery- The last line suggests (to me, anyway) something dark. Over all, I sense a hint of Emily Dickinson as an influence. I believe it's the last word "anywise" that smacks of Dickinson. It just sounds like a word she might use. I...