vangogh414's profile
AGE:
22
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 14
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 14
Pseudonym
If I chose a pseudonym
would it be man
or woman
Maybe I would take
my father’s middle
my mother’s maiden
and make my new face
David Bradley
and someday we would meet
and fall in love
I would marry David Bradley
but what would we call
the children
Items
Version 1
34 Reviews
3 Comments
I didn’t want to sleep, so I crawled through my window and out onto the lawn. The sky was a milky pale grey as either the sun rose or moon fell, I wasn’t sure; my clock on my bedside table had stopped days ago, and neither Josiah, my roommate, or I were planning on fixing it. I crawled up to the sitting rock, the place Rhiannon showed me when we were twelve. She was my best friend then, even though it was weird for a guy to have a girl as their best friend and not girlfriend at that time. I ...
Version 1
5 Reviews
1 Comment
Goodnight, young sailor, gentle rest I bid upon thy tender breast For where you wander, I’ll not know Nor would I ever dare to go Goodnight, young warrior, gently dream May all good fortunes to thee teem Sweet rest and journey be thy ain, Until ‘pon wake we meet again Goodnight, beloved, ever more The jewel, the treasure, I adore Upon a star I pray for thee To stop awhile, to dream of me
Version 1
6 Reviews
2 Comments
Why don’t you finally crack open That can that’s been hoping that you finally would Our fire’s crackling higher You have the desire Or at least I think you probably should The night sky’s not waiting forever So why don’t you take the chance It’s up to you, it’s now or never So why don’t you stand up and dance to the night sky All our marshmallows are roasted They’ve gone and got toasted in this passing hour Look can you see the sun rising I think that it’s hiding A meteor shower See, the nigh...
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Reviews
I think this is absolutely lovely. The imagery you elicit in these words is stunning, and very potent. I appreciate that you say little of the actual writing process in a literal sense, yet your figurative language speaks volumes regarding your own creative process. Very nicely done.
This seemed very sweet and whimsical to me. It tells of a little innocence in the writing process; that these things "come to you", rather than you seeking out inspiration. That it comes in your dreams gives it a fairy tale aspect that contributes nicely to the idea of telling a story with brevity.
I like it. I appreciate the honesty in recognizing that you do indeed have "your best" in you, yet the humility in admitting that you haven't reached it, or even found it yet; that it is still waiting for you, and not the other way around, is very telling.
Well, that was certainly random, and did indeed tell a story! The Rip Van Winkle-esqueness of it adds to the humor, though this is more of a giggle-motivator than a memoir. Very funny, nonetheless.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
This comes off a little harsh and presumptuous. Part of what detracts is even the category you chose for it ("Journal, Diary, and Blogging")-- if this is a self-reflection on your life as a writer, the focus on not being someone else, and addressing it to that someone else, is detracting from your self-message/
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