ITEMS (2)
vickihowery's profile
AGE:
37
LOC: Lansing, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 15
LOC: Lansing, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 15
This user has not yet uploaded an urbis user description/profile.
Items
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
An introduction i’ve known shame i bathed in it sinking slowing seeping in my soul my own skin felt like a disease no cure for my ills except many days purging past to man with pen and affirmations for me to recite repeat again, again leading hopefully, he says, to belief that i am human that i am more than meat between thighs for man to consume and discard i know being used needed love more than oxygen gave everything of myself but barely had a self to give taught from birth that i was stupi...
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
You have my interest with the title and hold it throughout the poem. I am assuming the nonexistent commas , periods are intended. I like that you did that , the flow adds tremendously to the power of the words/meaning. I loved ,"I knew Nintendo brought the end in one binary vision I cooked my brain and have to say it’s painful in Hell’s kitchen I took what’s sane and painted with a vortex of ambition" . I think its incredible images and thoughts , original . I have no real issues with your p...
First off , I liked the title , which is important! I only have a few suggestions , which you may do with as you wish. This has rhyme and then areas of no rhyme , which throw off the flow a bit. I would play with words to sort out , more descriptive , more colorful word choices and to make the flow beter. In the third stanza , third line -" Sitting next to my blood that has run dry." This wording is confusing , perhaps changing it slightly to "Separated from myself, my blood has now gone dry...
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
