victorianLace's profile
AGE:
58
LOC: Whitmore Lake, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 28
LOC: Whitmore Lake, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 28
I taught high school English and hated it. Reluctantly trudged back to my old university and received my Master’s Degree so that I could instruct at our local community college. Taught at WCC for six years. Suffered a mid-life crisis and went nuts. Literally – since I found myself signing a contract to teach for one year in China (which involved having to sell my beloved pick-up in order to buy my ticket). To make a long story quick, I stayed in China for 4 years, eventually teaching graduate students Creative Writing; and I loved every minute of it. Now I’m back stateside. Honing my writing skills and trusting that this site might be a good place to start.
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Long ago in ancient China, there lived a beautiful young girl called, Zhu, Ying Tai. She was the beloved only child of a wealthy landlord; however, since her father's family did not have prestigious ancestors, very few people outside of their small village even knew the family existed. Thus, each day Ying Tai found herself wandering in their garden idly plucking a flower or two; going to the few village shops and meeting the same people again and again; and each night hearing her father compl...
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Note: During the Song Dynasty, peace and prosperity reigned - and brothel business was brisk in the big cities all over ancient China. Now Dear and Gentle Reader, the tale I will tell you tonight takes place in that long ago time, in a small town just outside Peking and it is the love story of the most beautiful, the most delicate, and the most soft-spoken courtesan of all – Du Shiniang and the bitter price she paid for that love. Famed throughout the land, from the eastern seas to the far we...
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Yesterday I was digging into the back of my closet looking for my tall winter boots since a huge snow storm was headed our way. As I armed my way about, shoving clothes and coats left and right, there on the floor in the back I spotted my old backpack. I don't know how long it has laid there forgotten, but picking it up, I couldn't help but hold it close and breathe in the scent of my childhood: just once more - I remember those rainy days, or mom is angry days, or even the not-feeling-so-goo...
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On rainy days, or mom is angry days, or even on the not-feeling-so-good days, I take my backpack loaded with all my treasures & drag it into my bed. Tugging my heavy load, I quietly wiggle way, way, way down - tunneling to the very deepest, darkest, secretest center of my cave, where I feel safe from snooping, prying eyes. Flicking on my flashlight, I eagerly dig down into my pack & study the faces of all my old pals. Shall I help Merlin & Arthur fight Modred? Sail the sky-blue seas with Sinb...
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Legend has it that foot binding began in China during the Song dynasty, one day the emperor happened to notice the tiny dainty feet of one of his concubines and she quickly became his favorite. As news of her favor spread his wives and concubines were said to “drink vinegar” (grow extremely jealous) and thus they did everything in their power to make their feet smaller. Just that simply, a horrible new fashion was started and would last a thousand years impacting women’s lives all over China ...
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I really like this piece and the imagery it presents however I'm not crazy about your using the cliche "with the speed of a bullet" i.e. faster than a speeding bullet - just too predicatable - unlike "I am the ghostly filament that passes you in the fog" which is lovely and unique. Ok, so maybe I'm not to crazy about the "fire and ice" wording too. Again, we've heard it before and it weakens a strong vivid piece of writing.
Hi, this was an interesting short piece. I liked the imagery you invoked and the conversational tone you employed - however rather than going on with the praise I feel it would better serve you if I pointed out the things that bothered me: 1. On page one you mentioned the "hierarchies" are we talking government authorities? religious authorities? mystical authorities? And it is mentioned the info was told 20 years ago - was it broadcast to everyone? Or only our hero? curious. 2. Page two: "A ...
Usually I have no problem reviewing a poem. None whatsoever. This one is different. You create sheer poetic images, dramatic scenes; however, where you lost me, yet captivated me was the line, ". . . lavish production of flickering spirits, fighting hordes and Scottish “merry Dancers” I was blown away by the images but didn't understand a word of it. And that my dear is a problem. Additionally, when I read a poem I expect to have it leave me with some sort of feeling/emotion - heck maybe even...
You have the rules for haiku down pat. In addition you have created a strong image, that includes nature - also an important ingredient in any successful haiku. All in all, I like it. I would have put: "sway on angel's whispered wind" OR "sway on angels' whispered wind" depending on if you are referring to one angel or more than one. I'm a retired English teacher and I'm afraid I'm a bit of a stickler on little points like that, please forgive me, I just can't help myself. smile Keep writing!
Great haiku, you followed the form perfectly: 5, 7, 5 AND you made a strong reference to nature. Excellent. I wonder why you capitalized Autumn though? I don't believe it is necessary. Other than that I have no complaint and I'm a retired fussy old English teacher! mary ellen
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