violet51403's profile

I mentioned writing. That was a mistake. My friend calls me once a week, if that, and I mention writing. In an instant the conversation ends and I am told – no commanded, to write. To sit at my desk; put my hands to the black keys and type. Type what? Hmmm

I write in my voice. I write as if I had the freedom to speak. I write as if I were allowed the pondering pauses. The silences between thought to word. I am not allowed those when I speak. Pauses are taken as opportunities. Places to wedge in. Opportunities to spin the conversation their way. I lose my thought process forced to take their words into consideration. They, asking questions I had already thought of and were getting to. But they make me feel as if I hadnt thought of that…

I mentioned writing. That was a mistake. My friend calls me once a week, if that, and I mention writing. In an instant the conversation ends and I am told – no commanded, to write. To sit at my desk; put my hands to the black keys and type. Type what? Hmmm

I write in my voice. I write as if I had the freedom to speak. I write as if I were allowed the pondering pauses. The silences between thought to word. I am not allowed those when I speak. Pauses are taken as opportunities. Places to wedge in. Opportunities to spin the conversation their way. I lose my thought process forced to take their words into consideration. They, asking questions I had already thought of and were getting to. But they make me feel as if I hadnt thought of that far. It is rude to say, I was getting there before you interrupted me. Even more to shout, Shut Up and let me finish! Or to punch them into silence. So I write. Well that is not entirely true I would like to write but it is only midnight conversations with the dark.