nice work, don't have anything to critique

Yes, in fact all life is brevity, greetings

Well done!

the way you paint this idea remember me that our sould remain yes for an eternity, good luck

It sounds to me more a tv commercial than a story, but this is not bad, maeby you have a big publicist inside. Good luck

If you are under 18, I think you can became a real writter, I love what you had write, and I believe that every body have the same story, yu have so much to gve in future, and please don't stop your progress.