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visionant's profile
AGE:
31
LOC: Palmdale, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 20
LOC: Palmdale, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 20
Typistwriter
Items
Version 1
7 Reviews
0 Comments
Hush now..hush,hush Be quiet lusty lusts She sits: Maid away, you horse-mule- Who comes? Young suitor boy, the roach man Oh she laughs Her breasts sway with each giggle. He seeks a touch of her pink gown, Like cherry blossoms under her arms She reaches. . . A cool fan for milady This dream, this morbid fantasy O God, rip me from my ecstasy! Quiet; quiet her suitor comes this way My dagger . . . His feet beat closer- (Grabs the young man) You bathed your neck in her mustiness See your last sig...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Over the limit again, Filled to the brim, Quiet- don’t say it, Hush- don’t think it. We won’t ever, We promised never, Try our best not to believe Not the heart on our sleeve- Ok, I’m going to bed Another Unsaid.
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
He was to me, a cold brother lover But yet, I loved and loved and loved him still; In vows of wedlock’s raid, hid him cover’d Enthralled by his own consumed selfless will. Virgin manhood filled my porcelain husband To tithe his lips, his touch I could not do Nor rid my disgrace, nor nightmares disband. On the bare side of this tower is true A man’s visage; men at arms in Rammah Single soldier unarmed gazed on slain foes Picture the victory won; “Hors de Combat!” The siege’s pillar painted cre...
Version 1
3 Reviews
3 Comments
Quaint, lethargic, Milieu sat, utterly cramped in solitude, her shoulders stretching wide, her back pressed firmly into the lacquered weaves of the cold dark iron chair. Swarmed by violet blue barberry bushes, she posed like a statue fixed in the abandoned porch of the gothic street-front restaurant. Honks, beeps, swept through the sleek gray cavern of sprouting concrete buildings, vast and ascended, echoing the grumbles of motorcars. Between the toes, amongst the ankles of the clamoring foun...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Combined force movement and stationary – The worst choice I ever made was to allow you to pull me in. I feel samsoned to my delight of your simple minded acceptance – never fully comprehending. I would’ve eternalized you like Shakespeare and Rosalina – I am banished to this yoked illegitimate ass of a relationship. My time I handed freely at your behest. Maybe I should have never given you such powers – I, stranded and locked perversely to long your touch – My mind begs my body’s forgiveness,...
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Reviews
First this would be an outstanding theatrical monologue. The journey is stark and very clear. I love the scene with the Nurse. Though this made me think of a genuine experience the literary purity was far beyond a story recant. I loved the descriptions of the bed, the rash, the need for forever having a need to leave your feet out. This line stuck out the most to me: "I am thin and wan and look like ten miles of bad road." -- Such a extreme metaphor yet wonderfully simple. I am truly an admir...
I thought that the beauty of your story was not given enough focus. In these situations, especially on a hospital bed, we not only become very reflective, but sometimes mildly hallucinatory. I felt that you could have contrasted elements of the flashback child hide & seek scene with your opening scene. I felt that your description of Chicago was great. However, there was no contrasting element or focus other than a clever way of giving us a setting. I also felt that the scenes could have bee...
You know most people might come out and say very poetic. That would be fair but an understatement. I feel your poem reaches to deep within us and very much beyond us. it's very important to see that in poetry in general. Thank you
Really positive message. Come with the complexity of the inner urban life though. Make it a fair argument theoretically. Otherwise it is a parents-aren't-doing-a-thing theme. Be open with yourself. Gangbanging is a religious sect of hip-hop. i feel what you are getting at though. Keep it tight
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