walkliter's profile
AGE:
45
LOC: Maryville, TN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 21
LOC: Maryville, TN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 21
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SAFE AT HOME Tim Walker JOHN: Here I sit in my chair of ice, frozen, until the fireplace takes hold and I am free to roam about the house, almost like waking from a dream. It is my house. Here, I can keep the windows open if I choose, even in the winter. Here I can say whatever I want, wear any expression I choose. Nobody to hear, nobody to see. I am carrying a baby in my arms, for the first time in my life. But still I know to keep his head up and how to stuff a bottle in his mouth. I know...
Version 1
1 Review
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THE EXECUTIONER STEPS IN By Tim Walker In a dream, I prayed to God. When I awoke, I tried to hold on to it, but all that remained was a fragile network of impressions, thin here, overlapping there. I had been praying, though, and meaning it, and I had to know how I did it. I had never been taught to pray in a way that would convince God I was sincere, but now I was sure the know-how was there somewhere, implanted, hidden in my brain. I just had to find it, and, I believed, s...
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Reviews
Some nice desciptive writing, but the story itself seems a bit empty, more like beginning of a story that got cut off from the rest. You get inside the character's mind nicely, but his story has no reason for being, in and of itself. It asks questions but provides no answers. I would suggest using what you have as a launching point.
I can almost feel myself zipping along some Georgia highway when i read this, top down, going fast, carefree. It makes me remember summers as a young man, when life was ahead of me and I still felt like I was free. I can feel the intensity of flying along a southern road, so fast yet without danger. the immortality of youth, maybe. This is a great feel-good poem.
It is a nice start. I laughed more than once (where I was supposed to), and was disappointed there wasn't more to read (yet). It may be tough to keep this approach up without losing focus, letting the cliche's, etc. overshadow the story. I think you will have to have a very intriguing, genuine mystery to pull this off. You would not want the mystery itself to be cliche', in my opinion, just all the elements surrounding it. I noticed on typo in the last sentence of the second paragraph - a mi...
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