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LAST LOGIN: April 23
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Version 2
1 Review
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Sometimes one must travel to the ends of despair to find the beginnings of hope.
Version 1
12 Reviews
4 Comments
Slow and shallow rapid breaths wheezing with every exhale were the only sounds I could hear as I stood in the kitchen surrounded by early morning darkness. The only light filtered in through three small windows; the moon was full and perched high in the sky that night. As I stared down, listening to my own anxiety filled breaths and feeling the blood pound against the side of my head in that slow rhythm, the thought came again. Tears welled as I dropped down and thrust my arm into the trashca...
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Love is an emotion which is over described and often times done so in an unjustly manner. Some of the worlds most gifted writers have attempted to put into words the unexplainable and unforgettable emotions and sensations that accompany love. Yet you have to ask this; many have said that love is unable to be described, so why have we given this emotion a name? To give a name means that all the glorious feelings can be summed up into one word. Maybe then, as I believe, love is only the surface...
Version 1
1 Review
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Long and dark sleepless nights, Wrestles from constant turmoil in my mind, I rise from my comfortable torture, Eventually finding myself behind my dashboard lights, Thoughts still buzzing through my head, I embark on a midnight driving contemplation, Not knowing where or why I’ll go, My conscience spinning behind my dashboard lights, Wondering why I am here, Why my reservation in this mortal hotel was made, I question all the world’s mysteries from existence to the levels of love, All behind ...
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
A Demon’s Salvation By Aaron Weaver The blood trickled down my forehead, streamed onto my cheeks, then dripped silently from my chin as I sat gazing upon the man whom I thought of as the devil. “You little shit, why can you not go potty in the toilet?” The words were smeared with hatred as they spewed from his contorted thin mouth. The devil, also known as my grandfather, raised his giant work hardened hand and fell upon me a blow that threw me into the already blood stained wall. The ability...
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Reviews
You have some clear talent as a writer, with the descriptions and the showing the reader through the dialogue what emotions lay behind both characters. I would say though that it could be a little more fluid, I love the almost journal entry quality of the story, but mabe a little more cohesion. I want to know what happens, do they get married, does she lose the weight? I hope they are happy, love should be so much more than wanting to be with someone for what they look like.
I like the idea behind this, and you do a pretty good job. I think that maybe being more consistant with the stanzas would be beneficial, as in trying to use the same number of loines in each. But your choice of lines are great and descriptive. good job.
I like the concept, and my favorite line is "It’s me from decades past and I want to squeeze the life from the kid to save him from tomorrow," This seems more like a thought to me than an actualy poem, but it is free form, so it works, and I love the fact that you had Weetbix for breakfast. All in all, good job.
Well, to be honest I found this interesting, but needing a lot of work. Only some work in terms of gramar, mostly work done to the plot line, especially at the end. I like the character build, I knew Dennis pretty well by the end of this. Actually, I think the twist and almost sci-fi feel of him turning into a bus was een entertaining, but it just kind of happens, without any warning. I knew he was ill, but I would have liked some foreshadowing that would have made everything tie together. Th...
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