whiffleballtony's profile

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AGE: 24
LOC: Glendale, AZ
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 18
Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Short Story / Ambiguity
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
The man touched his forehead and came away with bloody fingertips. “Rough night?” A napkin swirled down across the bar and a mug filled with frothy beer clamped it down. “I’m sorry?” “Your head?” The man nodded and lifted the mug to his lips. An hour passed and the man lost count. A mug was filled and he emptied it and a mug was filled again. He watched the hands on the Eight Ball clock above the bar, the slow, steady revolutions and thick, bruising clicks. “Did you want to use the restroom?”...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
SOMEONE SHOULD BE SMILING BIRTHDAY, DEATH DAY There is an undeniable morbidity that comes with obituaries. They sit in silence four or five pages back like the cold steel of an autopsy ward. Perhaps it’s the death they encapsulate or perhaps it’s the names and faces people try to avoid either because they can’t muster up the proper amount of sorrow for someone they never knew or because they simply fear one of them may turn out to be a little more familiar than they can handle. And if you kno...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Oh knife, oh knife, my wonderful knife, teeth so small and sharp to cut the meat oh so neat and silence its incessant carp. Oh blood, oh blood, my beautiful blood, spill so smooth from life to bring this mess of dirty flesh to a home of endless strife. Oh care, oh care, my fleeting care, return and stop this bud from sprouting sins and salacious grins in the wake of a Holy Water flood. Oh life, oh life, my wonderful life, short and sweet it isn't fair but my mind decided to be left behind so ...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Shadows
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
When calm of sleep ended, Storm clouds filled my mind, Exhausted and winded, Dust of disconcertion Left me blind. A presence that wasn’t there, Spilled from every aperture in my head, As the clock ticked time to prepare, For the arousal of the dead. And when I cried for comfort, No one would ever listen, Taking my brain to become inert, Where doctors Proceeded with incision. A presence that wasn’t there, Pulse beating from behind my eyes, Stalked my life from nowhere, And cried for my other s...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
I think a smoother intro would be "I have this great fear that the moment we were supposed to meet has been thwarted." Cut out the second sentence. Anyway, as far as the title goes, I actually think it's pretty interesting, if a bit long. Any other title I tried to think of came off too corny. So I would stick with this title or go with something basic like "Thwarted" or "Our Meeting". As for the story, I liked it. It's original in the way that it was written, talking to someone you've never ...
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Okay, you got me. You've got me in your lasso and I'm willing to come along. Your words just roll off the tongue so easily and there are certain phrases that just had me smiling, for example: "I regret not being able to see his mother weep bitter tears over her son's prolonged adolescence!" Also, "The silent concussion is my favorite method." These lines are just a few nuggets that please me as a reader and I look forward to more of them in part two.
This is why I can't cook, damn recipes are too consuming. I think this is very interesting and actually quite playful despite the context which is obviously depressing. I especially liked the line about "dear" losing its meaning. Very good.
Short Story / Still Life
This is freaking awesome. This is the first thing I've given a rating of ten and I don't even know if I can explain why I like it so much. Perhaps its the images, the way you make everything so clear and pure, or perhaps it's the way you narrate the story, or perhaps it's just the way it makes you think about life in general. I think it's probably all of the above. I just know that this is poetic and beautifully written and I applaud you for writing this.
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Wow, you got me with this one. It's interesting how the narrator goes through this wave of transformation and made me think of The Usual Suspects, the way you find yourself just trusting the narrator and then come to find that the narrator isn't necessarily telling the whole story. I love that concept. Other than that, I love the subtle humor and the tone of voice. Also, I have to say that the reason this works so well is because the reader is so focused on Styx, trying to figure out whether ...
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