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whitey's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: Cincinnati, OH
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 08
LOC: Cincinnati, OH
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 08
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Version 2
3 Reviews
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Prologue: Anticipating Deceit If it ever got out all the possible pleasures of owning just another country house, it now seemed feasible why so many once docile people now fumed beyond the white picket-lines and hard pavement of suburbia forever to keep just Chester from having his own chance at salvation. He knew there would probably still be more left remaining for you! He remembered saying this to Barlow, outside the small lake-house that happened to hold so many secrets of many other il...
Version 1
1 Review
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the gaping maw of doom the scaly exterior the waterproof shell claws waiting to rip flesh from bone GATOR green, the colour of money money money money money monet? art, passion, lust, rage, chomp bite bite bite bite teeth GATOR flesh bone scales raw power eating swimming stalking chomping not very fast on land deadly in the water GATOR GATOR GATOR GATOR MOM?
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
Prologue: Anticipating Deceit If it ever got out all the possible pleasures of owning just another country house, then now it seemed feasible why so many once docile people fumed beyond the white picket-lines and hard pavement of suburbia forever to keep just Chester from having his own chance at salvation. There would probably still be more left remaining for you! He remembered saying this outside the small lake-house that happened to hold so many secrets of many ill-famed mobsters and oth...
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not really to original, its like a musician saying smashed my guitar, sold my amp it's humorous though -whitey
I enjoyed the attempt you made here in creating a haunting imaginative scene of a pianist playing to a silent hall and imagining the ghosts he suspects have been awakened by the lightning crashing outside.However I'm not sure if this what you really mean. The similes were good and helped transition early on, but they really seem rushed by the end,almost cheap or cliche. I really like the idea behind this poem, yet cannot understand fully what the writer is trying to say, I think the structure...
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