wonderfully convoluted poem, i truly enjoyed reading this. good job

WOW, i really like this one. I haven't read the first one, but this one is amazing. You are right though,some stanzas don't quite fit, but that makes for fun reading. The work has a definite rhythm, similar to the rolling of waves, regular yet irregular at the same time. Good job.

Very racey, but in a good way. The details you use in the description of the female body, as well as your own responses to the tantalizing movements really brings the scene to life.

The rhyme scheme is a bit erratic, but if that's what you're going for, it's spot on. I would work a little on rhythm, some lines kind of flow, while others are a bit jarring. Otherwise, very nice.

Phenomenal, simply phenomenal. The stanza that introduces the coffins surprised me and tears instantly welled up in my eyes. Quite lovely, and I believe that this poem should be published widely. Excellent job.

I like your way of rhyming things, very good. I deeply enjoyed the last line of this poem. The question is, can we do something in the future to better our past...perhaps an idea for a companion piece to this work.

this is very much like ee cummings' work, i liked it and it made me laugh.

quite vulgar, but gets your point across...i wouldn't suggest publishing it, but perhaps a reading...

wow the last line is astounding to me...amazing work, i really enjoyed this poem.

spelling error in the first line, sense of humor. Also, the inclusion of Laura kind of alienates the reader, without letting them form their own Laura per se.