wiseasscomment's profile

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AGE: 23
LOC: Glendale, AZ
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 17

what can i plagiarize today?

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Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
My first encounter with the Fear, or what I thought was my first encounter, didn't come until well into my second year. I say 'what I thought...' because it's much too hard to be sure when dealing with devils of this nature, all things considered. Who are you to say when and where you first dealt with this diabolical essence? It doesn't just occur in the span of a night. It requires procession, precision, progression, all while wearing you down. Numbing you. Grinding from knob to knub. After ...
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Version 2
10 Reviews   1 Comment
Chapter One The day that Parson left his life behind him was not particularly remarkable to his memory. The majority of it had passed much like it always had—riddled with routine and tiring circumstance. It was a rare occurrence that he'd recall any times he'd spent as memorable. Of course, it could be argued that each and every period of night and day is just as unique as the one that preceded it as well as that which will follow, if only for their position on a Calendar. Even so, there was ...
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"My crew has concluded that Sasha attacks are going in a pattern." Obviously requires another look. As does "Edwin, not to proud of that ranking..." Just minor nit pics you might've missed. "Plus, I don’t see you offering any ideas Mr. Perfect, just attacking mines." Mines? I also have another question about the logic behind your military attacks. I don't exactly know how they work or the style of planetary systems you have in place, as all science fiction pieces vary, but I can't help but wo...
Poetry / Flights of Fear
Locked
First of all, I would not use the term "Last night." This is more a personal frame of reference than anything. "The previous night" works just as well, with a touch more elegance. The comma in the fourth sentence of the paragraph is unnecessary. There is a few awkward phrases that is more conversational than should be written. "Getting undressed," "reached his arm into the glass shower, turning on the water," "running his hand down her," don't read well. Daphne's defense is also a bit contriv...
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Writing
Locked
To the point. Depressing. How sad.
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