it's it's it's Try this. REplace your it's with the word 'it is'. Does it make sense? NO. Interesting criticism. Read like a school piece. Is that what it was? I'm only reading this far though. Thanks. Heather wordwan

Woo, baby, woo. Look at chu! I can see you been practicing, baby; practicin' hard. And this shows me you are so... so intent on becoming who you really are. A teller of tales. Good show. A few things. Baby, are you reading this out loud? Read it out loud, baby. Stand in front of the mirror, watch yourself read it out loud and hear where the smoothness of sentence IS... And isn't. Okay, baby? Watch your tenses too. This convo could stay in the present or past, but watch all that participl-ey a...

This piece is well thought out. I cannot comment on the haiku portion of it, but the content is sublime. Thank you. Heather wordwan

I like this. I like the word usage. Check your spelling in a few places. And an odd thought: use something other than war as the tie in. I wasn't thinking of war til you mentioned it. Hm. What? I dunno. Just a thought. Thank you. Heather wordwan

Oh, this is lovely. I haven't had such a lovely new meal of words of this in such a while. Oh, thank you. Have fun doing more like this. I like the thoughts, skipping stones across your page. Heather wordwan

OH yeah, Baby. I am falling in love with reading words again. This is the third item, this evening, that has spun its web around me. Lead on. Lovely. Thank you. Heather wordwan

*grin* Considering I just came from you telling me you liked to blog, I found this EXTRA amusing. *grin* Thanks. Heather wordwan

I like this. I dunno if anybody else will, but I feel your theme approach unique. Thank you. Heather wordwan