wrmathews's profile

This poem really touched me. I kind of felt like it is simple but powerful. I really do not have any negatives. Good job.

I like your writing style. I was beginning to be concerned by the third page that this was going to be one of those short stories that I fail to see the point in. You built my curiosity up very nicely, but I almost quit reading. The final line was worth it, though. There were a couple of times that I questioned your word choice (ie. the first page, you have all of these lovely descriptors like "galaxy of stars" and "cooling respite" and then you use "red" to describe the lovers skin from the ...

The imagery you use reminds me a lot of Stephen King's Dark Tower series. In the second paragraph you have "the figures face." It should be "figure's face." Paragraph four has the word 'apon' which should be 'upon' You use the term "figure" a lot. It is a bit repetitive. Keep up the good work.

I like the comparison of earth as a furball. "The government sort of lost what little faith I had, when their reason for releasing the bombs "They called us stupid," following a press conference with the leaders of China." This sentence was really confusing to me. I understand that the reason they were dropping the bombs because "They called us stupid." But it isn't clear at first. I wonder if there might be a better way of writing that sentence to make it more clear? episode of name that pop...

Grammar and Spelling I can help with. IN the first paragraph, you have a date followed by a time. You should still put a comma between the day and year even though you need to put one in right after that to separate the time from the date. "observing of the eerily silent street," sounds better if you say "observing the eerily silent street." "A few minuets passed as Roxy shivered .." minutes (typo) "But its better then..." better than "she sniffed, whipping her face..." wiping her face This i...