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xPoeticDistract's profile
AGE:
15
LOC: Wyandotte, MI
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 02
LOC: Wyandotte, MI
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 02
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Version 1
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Every day holds a promise A hope away from despair If only you’d look to the heavens Because trust me, it’s the heavens that will care Unless you look to lawyers With large cigars and expensive suits If you could look at their childhood Would you think of them as brutes? Possibly just jackals Deceivers and devils of men But they never said it was their job to care Rather just their job to pretend Put your eyes on the goal Despite if you’re found guilty in the end You’ll be convicted in honest...
Version 1
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Familiar faces Familiar smiles Familiar traces Of you evil reptiles I know what you’re hiding Your scales show it all The sharp jagged teeth in your mouth Your ways will lead to your fall Your teaching is flawed, Eat or be eaten How about neither And not act like a cretin? There are honest people in some Not all people can kill They just do it to repair their hurts So the void in their heart is filled Now let me tell you once more You snakes and deceivers If you find yourself bored Turn yours...
Version 3
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Please consume the following The text before your eyes The information you are swallowing A horrid truth you may not survive It’s just my nature to instruct to those who have no skill I’m sorry if you're out of luck at a dead end if you will. We cannot pay for this This putrid piece of work I know that we may have missed The message for which it's worth You cannot seriously pursue The established way your writing now Because your thoughts are strewn Through the confines of your town I'm sorry...
Version 2
1 Review
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Analayze the following The text before your eyes The information you are swallowing A horrid truth you may not survive It’s just my nature to instruct to those who have no skill I’m sorry if your out of luck at a dead end if you will. We cannot pay for this This putrid piece of work I know that we may have missed The message for which it's worth You cannot seriously pursue The established way your writing now Because your thoughts are strewn Through the confines of your town I'm sorry Mr. Doe...
Version 2
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The dirt is red The air is wet The time consists of blood and sweat The state is harsh and full of pain These residents have none to gain
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Reviews
You're writing is amazing. You're words, flawless. I can't add onto it, i'm assuming the dive is for love, or something of that nature, but that's only my thought of it. Great Job, mate.
Not much to say, when it comes to rules of writing, i'm not quite familiar, sounds good to me. You have well written emotion, but you're play of words makes it sound more like some 18th century extravential piece. Usually poetry is analyzed to find the hidden meaning, you've done a good job at showing that it needs to be analyzed, but I think most readers will find that a dictionary will do the trick. Just a joke my friend, great job.
Very funny, and for once, I get it. Very good idea aswell, i'll have to try it.
Ouch. Aren't there poems of true love though, I wouldn't really call it a manipulation, rather a transfer of emotion from the heart, through the fingertips onto paper. Point well taken though.
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