Such a simple poem, that takes you through a journey that encapsulates my narrow understanding of coming to terms with mortality and the dim views of the older members of the world. This really reads well, so eloquent and talented. With a great underlying foreplay of the infinite and finite all in a single squiqle of your pen.

Harrowing and getting to the point, but alas it doesn’t flow. It has potential, but the darkened feelings invade the poem making it hard to read without a grimace. Try to ease up on the; although eloquent use of language. Never let the language distract from the message.